the certainty of certain things

You already know this is going to be a long post. You've been sniffing. And, well, now it is here.
***
The thing I like most about blogs is that I can say whatever I want, and you have to listen.
***
Actually, you're probablly not even really reading this. That's what makes it even more exciting.
You see, this is for me. Not you.
***

Postgraduation, I have not had time to reflect. But now, sitting in the fireplace family room of my sister's newly bought home, I have just that time.
And do you know what I've been reflecting on, of all stinking topics???!???!

Politics.

I am a biology major. I'm from rural Minnesota. I was raised on a farm by two wolves.
And when I get to thinking, and reflecting on the sorts, it's politics. what has gone wrong with me?

perhaps it was the staring into the sun when i was little, and too young to know the difference between a repub and a dem, that really did it. did i ever tell you that when i was a munchkin, I thought I was being watched by aliens? I'm serious. I was convinced that aliens were out there, recording every move I made. I thought I was fascinating. At one point, I was also convinced that I could fly. Yep. You heard me right. One day I will, too, just you wait. you see, most kids today are messed up. they have cell phones. they have ipods. they have computers the size of my thumb. no imagination these young grasshoppers. heh, it is quite funny indeed, that i stand (errr..sitting as it were) before you now, a 22 year old, giggling over her photo cell phone. wow. those lil explo kids made fun of me, not having a cell phone...well, now look at me! dare you laugh at me now, you frog hoppers!

Okay, so where was I?
Yes. My reflecting.
So there I was. It was the day after. The day after being November 3rd, 2004. I was sitting in a room with a bunch of poli sci geeks in my Arab-Israeli conflict class. And the effects were so great, that Professor Sampson decided to scratch his lecutre to discuss the election, while sitting down, wearily in a chair--he never sat when he lectured. Prof. Sampson was a smart man to do this. In my biochem class the hours before, my professor didn't say squat about the thing that seemed to be most important. NOt even a word about the election. err...maybe she did. but i wasn't listening.

What was I thinking at that very moment I walked into class?

I remembered something quite spooky. It was a deja vu moment. It must have been the feeling of Sept 13th, 2001. I was sitting in the same seat, in the same classroom, as a freshman, listening to Prof. Bashir talk about how during a crisis, people flock to a sacred place. That being, of course, the chapel. We had had a memorial service for 9/11. In the chapel.

The election had seemed to hit my classmates more than 9/11 did. That was the weird thing. People were hung over in depression. I almost cried. Yes. In class.

Just this memory, the memory of their sadness, almost makes me swallow the words that are about to follow.

If I recall correctly, a student from the south bitterly retorted that it was the "recruitment of rural votes" that won the ignorance of this nation. The irony of it all. heh. democrats fighting furiously to help the farmers, the poverty stricken, the minorities, the precious trees. and these uneducated 'fools' all voted republican. i almost laughed through my choked up throat. the irony of ironies. and the unspoken of unspokens.

It seemed as if the accusations were toward the barbaric, the uneducated, the ones who know nothing of the world schemes, relations, wars. Of course not, if they knew anything--if they only knew better-- why would they vote republican? All you have to do is mention two triggering words, and these fools will vote for a fool. And what is it that has been unspoken? Should the uneducated be banned from voting? The educated, of course, are those who are liberal. Progressive. Thus, those who vote otherwise are not educated. And who are the uneducated? The poor? the ones who farm, because they can not be doctors? What is it that we are saying????

And the democrats are baffled. Why was the election lost to a man who has declared war? Intolerant is what he is.

I can not help but defend those farmers who are so easily dismissed as uneducated. I'd like to see just one preppie college kid stand their ground in the country.
You dig up a garden with your soft, mushy, pencil scarred hands. Brilliant is what they are. Bloody brilliant.

Perhaps I'm exaggerating a bit. I get a bit carried away. .

At any rate, the accusations were not just directed at the farmers, the rural people. The crazy Christians with their fundamental schemes and agendas. Yes, it was their crazy tactics. And their prolife confusion. "the haters"

I charge you to figure it out. A challenge above all challenges. Get outside of yourself for just one minute. Your democratic or republican views. And ponder the reality. Are these fools really afer something? Are they wrong?

I was once a democrat. I was in sixth grade, and my mom took me to the DFL meetings--huge gatherings, with lots of food, and crazy passionate speeches that were full of baloney squaggle. I even stood with a group of African American protestors on national television, to filabust something or another. My experience was quite fun. Really.

Carleton done changed me. Yes. Changed changed changed. All I know of democrats now are those who complain. If there is one consistent thing about democrats, or at least the ones i've run into, is that they never cease to complain.
Save if for Oprah.

Good riddens.
I need to stop. I apologize. For what? For all of it. "You don't go and slap someone, and then apologize. Get some backbone."
I really shouldn't rant on something I know absolutely nothing about. politics? heh.

to do list

1. get a job...
2. get a car...
3. get a cell phone...X
4. buy a house...
5. get married and have kids...
6. visit carleton...
7. make cheryl and leslie get a blog...
8. talk to and visit Smars, Elfie, Edaeni...
9. conquer the world...
10. figure out the rest of my life...
11. retire...

Bloomington

What, do I have a sign on my back that says , "hit on me"????

so i'm sitting there outside of Cub foods, minding my own bizness, waiting for my sister to pick me up, munching on the Lucky Charms I had just bought.

This dude, he must be like 17 (I thought) comes up, "Man, I couldn't help but notice how beautiful you are."
Me: "Come again?" with a mouthful of lucky charms.
I'm wearing my Explo orange T-shirt (hasn't been washed in a week, and I've worn it like 10 times), my blue sweat pants, my hair is in pig tails, I hadn't washed my face yet, barely brushed my teeth.
Him: "Well, you're beautiful, I was sittin over there, and there you were."
Me: "Wow, well thanks..."
Him: "What's your name?"
Me, hesitating: "Amenah. And yours?"
Him: "Nick. Yeah, well, I'm new to here. What do you do for fun?"
Me: "I'm not really from here, just visiting my sister."
Him: "Well...oh. okay. Well, I was wondering, i want to meet new people. I was thinking, maybe you and I could kick it--you know, do dinner or maybe a movie."
Me: "heh! ( i really did laugh) I barely know you!"
Him: "Well it's not like it's marriage or something."
Me: "honey, how old are you?"
Him: "20. how 'bout you?'
Me, incredulous, and still feeling older: "Oh, um. 22"
Him: "See, you're only a bit older. so how 'bout it?"
Me: "Thanks, I'm flattered. But, I'm really not interested right now. Not the right time. Besides, I'm not from here."
Him: "Are you sure, I mean...( i nod my head, trying REALLY hard not to laugh out of disbelief) okay....nice meeting you." He walks off.
I'm in disbelief. Once again.
There must be a record for this. Being hit on in Bloomington.
AND i've never even had a boyfriend. this is hilarious.

blog bloopers

have you wondered lately why my blog is so messed up? i mean beyond the english nightmare, rather the set up, the organization? well...i have been trying to adjust my blogger template to allow my tag board to be near the top. i have been unsuccessful.

here's a random quote:

"yeah, my professor told me that I was going to Yale. but really he meant that I was going to fail...." Imran, my bro, after I asked him if he knew where he was going. He interpreted it as, i'm going to Yale, right? heh. okay, i guess you had to be there. it was like 2 am.

twiddlie twee

"you know something's up when the Swiss have the cup, the French think the Americans are arrogant, the Germans want nothin to do with the war, the best golfer is Black, the [best] rapper is White, and the tallest bball player is Chinese."

UPDATE to mis amigos

JOSH: i have actually left the Boston area, gone home, and I am now in CT dropping snarms off at Yale. I will prollie drop by to see Carls and pick up my bike from Leslie.

Leslie: i'm coming to see you and Cheryl! and to pick up my precious bike! me miss you! (and, dude, happy belated bday!!!!)

Cheryl, Edaeni and VOW sistahs: ladies, ladies! i will send you all a lengthy massive email soon, but right now I have travelled with snarms and yi yi to the east coast. i'm typing to you from Yale library. i'm kicking myself, cuz this place is amazing. maybe i should have done a better job evaluating this place. oh, and the whole 'rest-of-my-life-thing' is in crisis stage. i'm currently searching high and low for a job...(those who do not work, do not eat) ahhhhhhh!!!! (last week i deferred to U of MI,,,, no longer MN) i know, i'm crazy.

write me!

children children...

Let me tell you 'bout the dean's office. So, yeah, there's a dean's office. It's suppose to be the big bad guys who punish the munchkins. I hate disciplining students. In fact, I cringe when I have to follow through with consequences. I never send students to the dean's office. Until this one boy broke down crying in my class. He was being REALLY hard to work with, asking me millions of questions on his presentation prep, telling me he couldn't handle the protocal. It was then that he burst out in tears, and started shrilling in a tantrum. I says to myself, "oh dear, hear it comes". So i pull him outside the class, try to calm him down. He then starts shrieking about how he hates Explo, and how his mom made him come here. And he wants to be kicked out. He started beggin me to kick him out. I told him that i'd give him 5 minutes to collect himself, and then continue our conversation. I come back 5 minutes later, he's rolled up on the floor, still bawling. I gave him an Amenah pep talk, trying to get him to realize that it won't be that terrible if he choses to make the best of his time here: "life is all about choices" blah blah. he seemed to buy it, until i gave him a choice. I said, "okay, ___, here it is, man. You can either go continue on your project, and forget about how much you don't want to be here. Or you can go sit with the Deans. ___, I really don't want you to go to the dean's office. We only have 10 minutes left of class. Can you make it through just 10 minutes more?"
"NO!!!!!!!!!" he wailed. I sent him to the deans. Sigh.
Poor dude, he returned later apologizing perfusely. And he kept asking me if I were mad at him. Poor guy.

Oh. And I was evaluated by the Dean, his name is David. He collects all the juicy gossip about how crazy I am as a teacher.
Apparently, word on the street is that my students are all receiving their master's degrees in immunology and being prepared to enter their 3rd year in rotations. heh. truth is, I'm actually teaching them straight out of my college notes. AND they get it. hard to believe, eh? But, contrary to earlier publications, Explo is not going to fire me. No no. They actually, gasp, like my work. And my curric. advisor says that i have a natural flare for teaching. hmmmmm. if only i could spell.

now let me tell you about improv. the other day, for our carnival night, i was assigned 'handwriting analysis'. yeah. so, i'm like, okay, they'll prolllie provide me with some handout at least, to base my 'analysis'. nope. so i arrive at my station, and there's this huge HUGE mega line waiting for Dr. Babar's handwriting analysis. I was like, "dude, what am i gonna do?" so i made it up. yep. The freaky thing was, after the first trials, i actually was getting kids saying to me, "wow, you are so right. i really do like art/science/math." i was gettin so good at going on the fly, that i started believing myself. carleton has taught me well. mmmhm.

and then, the other day, I taught a "middle eastern" cooking class; we made baklava and curry. i tried to direct the title to be South Asian and Greek cooking, but apparently the dude making titles thought I was doing the middle eastern thing. Same difference. "they" say I'm Hashemite. Why not? And my last name directs me to the Ottoman Turks. So not only am I Pakistani, Native, French, Italian, Swedish, Bengali--but middle eastern. "middle of what?"--Prof. Sampson. LIke Delilah.

Oh, AND it was a huge success. I really think i should just buy myself a house with a gigantic kitchen. and just cook all day. i discovered that i really like cooking. course, if i don't get married soon, this whole biz with being a house wife aint gonna fly. so i better do somethin, like go to med school. or get my act togetha and do science.
fo'get men!

okay. time for bed. i'm coming home!!!!

In Class

Yes. I am currently in class. During my doctor class last period, I taught all about blood pressure, and taught students how to take BP. They were a little too excited, and I only had two kits for them to use. So eager to learn. Heh. And we then worked on making presentations for presentation day. They are doing controversial topics--such as stem cell research, abortion, cloning, and euthanasia. They are also practicing PDX, mental examinations, BP, and CPR to present. Yay for medicine. I'm currently watching my Achoo! students work on their diseases. They are having fun tearing up tissue paper for their foam boards, and typing up their information. We got Ebola, Yellow Fever, TB, SARS, Sleeping Sickness represented.

I'm hungry.

I'm coming home soon!

Hmmmmm.......

Oh, and I saw Mingmer and Kils!!!! In Boston! I miss Carl Buds. I should have failed comps just to come back.

Sigh.